Particles
by LouBlue
Summary: EJami fic. What happens when two bodies collide? Is there anyway EJ and Sami can ever be together after all that they've put each other through? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Okay, so this little story is dedicated to InuAngelBaby as she prompted me to actually get myself organised and post the latest of my stories, so thank you for that IAB. :D

This story is just a short one taken from more or less where we are now. People were getting a bit down with how things were playing up and I came up with this scenario to show them that just because Lucas is back on the scene and Nicole is pregnant, doesn't mean there is going to be no EJami. In fact, after this last week of episodes, it's becoming increasingly apparent that they are simply EJami roadblocks which I'm pretty happy about. We have some upcoming spoilers for May Sweeps which also have the EJami's grinning like loons but if you want info on all things EJami and haven't already, I highly recommend checking out Forbidden Love – the site for any EJami enthusiast.

You'll find lots of spoilers, discussion and just general fun and excitement over there, particularly at the moment. We had 175 people on line just this last Friday, the place was pumping. LOL Anyways, it's a great site and if you want literally hundreds of fantastic EJami fan fics, some written by published author's no less (we have 3 writing for us that I know of), then that is the place to be.

Okay, enough promotion, let's get down to brass tacks. This is a short, hopefully hot story about how we could possibly get EJami. I don't think the show will take this road, but damn, it'd be pretty cool if they did. LOL

Enjoy.

**Particles**

**Chapter One**

EJ swilled the amber liquid of his drink before lifting it to his lips and throwing it back in one swift motion. The whiskey hit the back of his throat and made him grimace, but then it was sliding down his throat and heating him from within. He motioned the bartender. "Another." The drink was poured and pushed towards him. EJ wrapped his fingers around the glass and stared at the contents again.

"Where the hell is my son?"

Her voice cut through him like a knife. That voice was the one that haunted his every waking moment, despite how hard EJ had worked to blot her completely from his life. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes close. "Spontaneous human combustion, spontaneous human combustion," EJ chanted to himself in desperation. He opened one eye and looked down at himself for any signs his incantation had worked. "Bullocks," he muttered, "never an act of God when you really need it."

Sami was standing beside him at the bar now, glaring at him. They were almost eye level, thanks to the lowness of the bar stool EJ was currently occupying and had been for the last forty minutes. He raised his glass to her. "Hello, Samantha, you're looking as accusatory as ever." He waved a vague finger at her hair. "Those bangs you're suddenly sporting really bring out the vitriol in your eyes."

"Shut up, EJ," she snapped, "and tell me where Will is."

EJ rolled his eyes. "As contradictory as ever I see, sweetheart. Tell me, do you ever get tired of being you?"

"I'm not here to play games with you, EJ," said Sami tersely. "I'm looking for my son. Where is he?"

EJ made a great show of patting his pockets down. After finding nothing he gave her a regretful look and a shrug. "Sorry, Samantha, William must be in my other coat jacket." He paused and looked thoughtful. "Or down the back of the sofa. I lose an inordinate amount of things down that sofa." EJ picked up his drink. "I think I need a new sofa."

Sami flushed. "I don't want to talk about that with you, EJ."

He looked over at her and arched an eyebrow at the forcefulness of her words. "I'm talking about furniture, Samantha, what are you talking about?"

Sami's blush deepened. "The sofa... I thought you were... ahh... that was where we, umm..."

"Fucked?" EJ offered up helpfully.

Sami's face darkened at his crassness. "Don't be disgusting."

EJ eyed her coolly. "And what would you call it – making love?"

"No!"

"Then I think my description stands." EJ downed his next shot of whiskey before continuing. "I don't know if you've been paying attention, Samantha, but fucking each other over seems our only one true talent," commented EJ acerbically. He motioned for the bartender for another drink. "I'll be needing the bottle, my good man, I've got this annoying buzzing sound in my ear I'm trying to blot out."

"Just tell me where Will is and you'll never have to see me again," said Sami, her blue eyes flashing fire.

"Ah," EJ sighed, "promises, promises. You do like to tease, Samantha, but then you so rarely deliver." He turned in his seat and looked at her, his face hardening. "I don't know where Will is. He doesn't check in with me when it comes to his movements. He's a teenage boy, perhaps he's out with his friends, or falling in love. I hear that's still popular with the young people these days."

Sami folded her arms in front of herself. "Will doesn't have a girlfriend."

EJ half shrugged. "Well, he wouldn't, would he?"

Sami scowled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Will's gay."

Sami gasped. "No, he's not! Why the hell would you say something like that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"You trick him into working for you for a couple of months and suddenly you think you know my son?" asked Sami angrily.

"Apparently I know him better than you, because Will is gay. He may not be ready to come out of the closet yet, but your little William prefers men." EJ poured himself another drink. He held up the glass by way of a salute. "Clever lad, if you ask me, women are nothing but a big bundle of heartache and trouble. I wish him luck." Sami was just staring at him, mouth open and briefly speechless. EJ enjoyed his moment of peace and quiet. He offered his glass to her. "Drink, sweetheart? You look like you could do with something stiff inside of you." EJ looked at the glass of whiskey. "And I'm thinking that a drink is about the safest thing I can offer you right now. Things don't go so well for us when I offer you anything else stiff." Despite his morose mood right then, EJ gave a little giggle at his own joke.

"Why would you say such a vicious lie about Will?" Sami spat out. "I can have you sued for slander!"

"You can only sue for slander if it isn't true," EJ pointed out. "And Will is gay, so that was one of your more empty threats, sweetheart."

"I'd know if my son was gay!" said an indignant Sami.

"No, you wouldn't," EJ argued, "because Will being gay isn't about you, and you only care about things that happen to you. In reality you'd be the last person to know anything about your son's life, because you're not interested in anyone other than yourself."

"How dare you?" Sami hissed. "Like you can talk, EJ! You've only ever cared about yourself!"

EJ gave a regretful sigh. "That isn't true, Samantha, but I think by now I've resigned myself to the fact that you'll never understand that."

"I love my children!"

"Of course you do," said EJ easily, "but you love yourself just that little bit more, don't you, sweetheart? Right now I bet you're trying to process this whole Will thing and your first thought is what you've done wrong to make him gay." EJ eyed Sami intently. Her lips thinned and her face went even pinker and EJ knew he was right. He gave a humourless laugh. "And the prosecution rests, your honour. You're first thought isn't about what Will is going through, but about yourself, Samantha. You see everything in relation to yourself first, and then everyone else a distant second. I worked out years ago it was a coping mechanism, but I have to say, at your age, sweetheart, the old standbys are getting a little dull. No wonder Rafe dropped you like a hot potato as soon as he could."

"Rafe left me because of what you did!" Sami spat out.

EJ scratched his cheek. "I think you mean what we did. I wasn't alone on that sofa; I had someone under me at the time." He waved a finger up and down her length. "So please don't play the victim, Samantha, I find that the least intriguing of your many multiply personas."

Sami put her hands on her hips. "I had the perfect life with Rafe until you ruined it, EJ. You always ruin everything in my life!"

EJ snorted. "Oh please, the only reason Rafe high tailed it out of Dodge was because he got a glimpse of the real Sami Brady and he couldn't deal. He wanted sugar and spice and everything nice and instead he got piss and vinegar."

"I was building a life with Rafe, I was happy, for the first time in my life I was happy."

"You were playing a part, nothing you two had was real."

Sami's eyes flashed death. "Oh, and I suppose you and Nicole were the real deal?" she sneered. "Give me a break."

"Nicole accepted me for who I was," he snapped.

It was Sami's turn to snort. "And you're calling me delusional. Nicole accepted the version of you she had in her head. Sure, that meant she was okay with the wheeling and dealing, but she still had you built up as this man who wasn't ever going to lie to her. Which, by the way, makes her the world's biggest idiot! Nicole accepted her version of you and thought by admitting you had faults that it was enough. Well, it wasn't, because the faults you do have, she can't live with!"

EJ ground his teeth. "I guess that is why Rafe and Nicole make such a loving couple – they have so much in common when it comes to spouses they didn't understand."

Sami looked at him in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about now, EJ?"

"I've just come back from the hotel Nicole is staying at," said EJ. His hand tightened on his glass. "I walked into her room, ready to beg Nicole yet again for a second chance and assure her the only thing I felt for you was hatred-"

"Ditto," Sami bit out.

"And who should I see but your Mr. Wonderful with his hands all over her."

Sami staggered back as though he'd struck her. "Wh-what?"

"They said they were just hugging and giving each other some comfort because of their cheating spouses, but I know bullshit when I hear it," said EJ in annoyance. "Rafe can't help it when it comes to women I've married – he's got a hard on a mile long for them."

Sami still looked stunned. "This is crazy, Rafe has feelings for my sister, not Nicole."

EJ shrugged. "Apparently he's hedging his bets." He smirked. "That mourning period for your marriage must have been measured in dog years."

Sami shook her head slowly. "I don't believe this, Rafe and _Nicole_? How could he? First Carrie, now Nicole – what the hell is he thinking?"

"If I had to guess – that they're not you."

Sami's eyes narrowed. "So what did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You found the great love of your life in the arms of another man, what did you do?" The sarcasm practically dripped off Sami's voice as she referenced Nicole.

"I left," said EJ simply.

"What, no jealous encounter, no swearing to fight for Nicole with your dying breath?" Sami mocked him. "I thought she was the one you found true love with, EJ? What happened, did the shine go off that particular crab apple sooner than you expected?"

"I could ask the same question of you, Samantha," he snapped. "I hear Lucas is back in town and you're sharing cosy little tête-à-tête. It didn't take you long to find another man, now did it? You're like a monkey in a tree, Samantha, you won't let go of one vine until you've got your hands on the next."

Sami gasped in outrage. "That's not what happened!"

EJ gave her a disgusted look. "You'd do anything rather than being alone with yourself, wouldn't you, sweetheart – even go back to that little Momma's boy. Did you ever stop to think the very reason you couldn't bear to be alone with yourself is the same reason you can't hold onto a man – they can't stand to be alone with the real you either?" EJ knew Sami was going to slap him for that little home truth and he grabbed for her wrist. He caught it just in time and pulled Sami's arm to his side. "The old outraged slap in the face is a bit uninspired when it comes to us, don't you think, sweetheart? We've found so many better ways to hurt one another over the years."

Sami was actually shaking with rage. "I hate you."

EJ pulled his face in close to hers, his own rage threatening to erupt. "I'm sure you do, Samantha, but I'm also sure it's nothing to how much you hate yourself."

Sami's eyes flashed death at him as he held her captive in that bar, their voices low as they hissed hate at one another. "I'm going to kill you!"

EJ's eyes flared with fire. "Take your best shot, Samantha, I've been waiting for this moment ever since you put a bullet in my brain."

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"That would be your latest in the long line of mistakes," EJ growled, fingers tightening around her wrist...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Sami was forced to break into a trot to catch up with EJ as he made a determined bee line for his car parked in the alleyway of the bar they'd both just been in. "Don't you walk away from me!" she yelled at his back.

EJ was halfway down the alley way when he swung around and glared at her. "I thought that is all you over wanted me to do, Samantha, walk away from you! Well, I'm doing it, so just be grateful."

"You don't get to say those things to me and just leave," Sami snapped at him.

"Those things were the truth," EJ said curtly. "I'll forgive you for not recognising it for what it was, after all, you very seldom deal with any kind of reality."

"I only deal with reality and what's been done to me, mostly by you!" she threw back at him.

EJ stalked closer to her. "And how about the reality of what you've done to others?"

"Like who?"

"Like me."

Sami put her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry, EJ, but playing the victim is the least intriguing of your many multiple personas," she threw back in his face mockingly. "What you got from me you deserved. In fact you got off lightly."

EJ looked her up and down in disgust. "God, you've raised delusional to new heights, or should that be depths." He shoved his face into Sami's. "Here's the difference between you and me, Samantha."

Sami thrust her chin out and glared back up at him. "This should be good," she said sarcastically.

"I'm not a good person, I've made bad calls and I've hurt a lot of people in the process," said EJ tightly. "I acknowledge that and I accept it. I'm not pointing fingers at my father or my upbringing or anything else. I did what I did because I wanted to do it. That was down to me, I own it." EJ drew back and shook his head as he looked at her. "You," his lips curled in disdain, "you've never owned anything, Samantha. It's all boo hoo, my mummy didn't love me as a child, my sister is more special than me, I'm always second best – I'm not a bad person, everyone else just makes me do these things." EJ shook his head. "You're a grown woman, Samantha, with a grown son. For God's sake, just grow up. You're a self-involved, manipulating, cold-hearted bitch – why don't you just embrace that fact and stop the delicate, little princess routine. It doesn't become you."

Sami could feel her hands curling into fists at EJ's dismissing words. She wanted to punch that all-knowing look right off his face. "If I'm all those things then so are you with a whole lot more evil on the side!"

EJ's face darkened. "You want to talk evil, Samantha? What do you call shooting an unarmed, unconscious man in the head? What were you going to tell my children when they asked for me? Shut up, kids, I've already found you a father substitute in your step-father, what are you whining about? Why can't you be like me and accept any old man into my life as long as he's willing to give me the time of day? Come on kids, whore yourself out to anyone, just like good old mum does."

WHHAACCKK!

Sami's hand exploded as she slapped EJ as hard as she could across his face. The force of her blow sent shock waves up her arm and she could only imagine how painful it must have been for EJ. His head had snapped back but he didn't make any other noise.

EJ turned his head back to face Sami and arched a scornful eyebrow. "I thought we agreed the slapping business was getting cliché, sweetheart."

Sami could barely talk with how mad he'd made her. "How dare you call me a whore, EJ!"

"You are a whore, Samantha," EJ threw back at her. "You sell your soul to the first person who offers you the facsimile of the white picket fence you have your head. It doesn't matter who is offering it, as long as you get what you want. I was never good enough because my name was DiMera. That didn't fit the Sami Brady game plan of being a respectable member of society and the envy of her family. No, you needed someone safe and dumb you could lead around by the nose." EJ sneered. "But even the most domesticated of animals eventually work out when they're being played. Look at the train wreck of your relationships, sweetheart – Lucas, Austin, Rafe – they all found you out in the end. They finally worked out you're a heartless creature who only really knows how to love herself!"

"You're the heartless animal!" Sami raged back at him. "You made me think my baby was dead! You raped me!"

EJ made a guttural sound and Sami was caught off-guard when he shoved her back hard against the brick wall of the alleyway. The display of EJ's obvious physicality should have frightened Sami, but it didn't. They were alone in that alleyway, it was getting late at night and the music was loud in the bar. It'd be unlikely that anyone would be able to hear her scream. EJ stuck his face in hers, so that their noses touched with every heaving breath Sami took. He was angrier than Sami had ever seen him, but still she wasn't afraid.

EJ's hot breath hit her cheek as he hissed his next words to her. "We've been raping each other from the first moment we met, Samantha! Nobody is the victim here."

EJ had her pressed up against the wall with his body and Sami's blood was thundering in her ears. The smell of him this close to her was making it difficult to think. She wanted to scream in his face that she hated him, that he'd hurt her in ways no man could ever have dreamed of, but then EJ was grinding his lower body into hers and she forgot everything else. Sami could feel EJ's arousal from their fight digging into her stomach. Her body had no choice but to respond. Sami's walls contracted painfully and hot moisture burst from her core, immediately dampening her panties.

EJ wasn't done talking yet. "And you know what the painful truth really is, Samantha?" He asked hoarsely. EJ didn't give her a chance to respond. "We're both willing participants."

Sami gasped as EJ pushed his erection into her even harder. She trembled as EJ's hands went up under her skirt, knowing what he was going to find. He hooked his fingers into the little thong she was wearing and gave one very hard yank. The delicate material gave way with little resistance and EJ's fingers were immediately delving into her. Sami was forced to go up on her tip toes at the rough intrusion, biting her lip and moaning. Her body was immediately his play thing as her hips instinctively ground her core against his fingers, urging them deeper into her body.

"So willing," EJ said thickly, his eyes glazing over.

Their argument was over for right then. They both knew there were more pressing needs to attend to. Sami's hands fumbled for EJ's zipper, desperate to release the beast she could feel contained inside his trousers. She'd managed for years to push down her attraction to this man and in the aftermath of their last coupling Sami had occupied herself with frantically trying to save her marriage. Now that distraction was a hopeless cause for both of them, it just left them. Her hand found EJ's cock and she wrapped her fingers around its distended length, drawing him out of his boxers. EJ's hands went to her backside, lifting Sami off the ground and pinning her to the wall. She knew what was coming and couldn't wait.

Sami bit back a scream as EJ penetrated her in one hard thrust. Her walls strained to take him all at once but Sami was rewarded for her compliance when one of EJ's hands found her clit and started a hard massage. Her uterus contracted, already close to climax as EJ began a series of hard thrusts up into her. Sami knew EJ was close as well, recognised the urgency of his strokes as he impaled her over and over again. The world reduced to just the two of them and the sound of their straining bodies coming together over and over again and panting breath on each other's faces. EJ stared at her almost unblinkingly as he fucked her to within an inch of her life. It was different from before, where they had avoided a lot of eye contact. This time EJ seemed to be forcibly trying to penetrate her body, but her soul as well. Sweat was beading on his forehead and his short grunts were getting closer together. Sami's nails dug into the material of EJ's coat jacket as she felt him heave himself into her one last time.

The sensation of EJ spraying his hot maleness into her most intimate places pushed Sami over the edge as well. She gave a choked cry as her body climaxed with him, hips jerking back and forward as her body desperately tried to milk every last drop from his spurting tip. They were both moaning loudly, lost in the moment as Sami rode EJ's cock for all it was worth.

"OH MY GOD!"

The shocked woman's voice brought Sami crashing back to reality even as her blood still thundered in her veins. She and EJ both turned their heads to see Rafe and Nicole standing at the end of the alleyway. Nicole had her hands over her mouth and looked like she was about to pass out and Rafe looked like he wanted to kill them both. Sami stared back at them, hardly able to comprehend what was happening...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The sight of Rafe and Nicole standing there, condemnation in their eyes had the opposite effect it should have had on EJ. He felt his balls tighten and then he was once again delivering a load into Sam's quivering core as their unwanted audience looked on. EJ closed his eyes and buried his head in Sami's neck as he pumped more of his hot seed into her, this latest orgasm taking over his body whether he wanted it to or not. Sami's walls were convulsing around him as his endurance made her cum again as well in front of their horrified spouses. She clung to him helplessly, riding out the wave of this latest climax as EJ fought against filling the alley with his delirious moans once more.

"No, EJ, stop," Sami moaned even as her body kept on riding him.

"Can't," he grunted, his body refusing to stop in its endeavours to mark every inch of her core with his body's seed.

Finally EJ was done and he was able to pull out of Sami. He staggered back, uncoordinated hands struggling to tidy himself up. Sami was leaning against the wall looking like she'd just run a marathon and pushing her skirt down her thighs. EJ had a mental image of his hot cum running down Sami's inner thighs and had to blink hard a couple of times to dismiss it. What the hell was wrong with him? His only thought should be of Nicole right now. EJ turned his head to see Nicole practically running back down the alleyway with Rafe seeming to be caught between them and her.

Rafe pointed an accusatory finger at Sami, face flushed with rage. "You're nothing but a man hungry whore, Sami. How many men do you need to make you happy? Me, Lucas-" he jabbed an angry finger at EJ, "him?" His face twisted in disgust. "Well, you're welcome to each other. You two deserve each other."

"Rafe, no!" said Sami in distress. "It wasn't like that!"

Rafe glared at her. "Stop your lies, Sami, just stop it. It's always like this between you two, always! I'm getting out of this nightmare while I still can." Rafe took off his wedding ring and threw it in the nearby pile of trash. "This marriage is over, Sami. You two can do whatever the hell you want. You can both kill each other because I'm done caring." He pointed a finger at EJ. "And you, you stay the hell away from Nicole. She doesn't need this."

EJ's jaw hardened. "What does she need, a big, strong protector like you, Rafe? Is that it?"

"You don't get to have an opinion on the subject," Rafe snarled. "Just know I'll do what I have to do to keep Nicole safe from you, DiMera."

"You mean like have Nicole shoot me in the head while I'm asleep and then you can cover up her crime with gay abandon?" asked EJ acerbically. "Haven't we already been there, done that?"

"Next time maybe we'll get lucky and you'll die," Rafe sneered. "Nicole came here wanting to talk to you, hoping to figure things out even though I told her it was a waste of time."

EJ gave him a cold look. "Well, you'd better run along, Rafe, I'm sure you're eager to do your 'I told you so' dance for her. I'm sure you're dying to get your pom poms out and shake them in her face, just like you used to do with Samantha."

Sami scowled. "I don't need you defending me, EJ. Our marriage wasn't like that."

"So you weren't bending yourself into a Carrie-shaped mould to please the paragon of virtue you married?" asked EJ bitterly.

Sami put her hands on her hips, squaring off against him. "Of course I wasn't! That was the real me!"

EJ turned to face her as well, his blood still pumping from their encounter and this latest argument heating his blood like it always did. "The real you?" he repeated scornfully. "The happy, submissive homemaker was the real you, Samantha? I think not."

"Oh, like you'd have the first idea!" she snapped at him.

"I saw you, wafting around town in those gawd awful plaid outfits." He made a face as though he was sucking on a lemon. "What exactly was the point of those outfits again? Does Rafe have some kind of lumberjack fantasy? Did he like you to dress like that so you could chop his wood?"

Sami's hands balled into fists. "I liked those dresses!"

EJ rolled his eyes. "Nobody _likes_ plaid, Samantha, it's an accident of circumstance... like being born in a trailer... or with an extra finger."

Sami jabbed a finger at him. "You're a snob!"

"No, I have taste."

"At least I wasn't wearing my hair like some demented fairy penguin!" Sami threw back at him. "What the hell was that? Were you going for a mob look? There was enough product in your hair to run a greasy burger joint for a year!"

"I was trying for a new look," said EJ tersely.

"You looked ridiculous."

"I'll take that under advisement from a woman who dressed like someone who carried an axe to work every day."

"I wish I had an axe right now!" Sami seethed.

"Of course you do, sweetheart," said EJ bitterly. "You and your beloved get off on maiming me and then trying to cover it up."

"That's not how it was!" Sami spat out. "Rafe, tell him!"

They both looked to where Rafe had been standing only to find he wasn't there anymore.

Sami blinked in amazement. "Where's Rafe?"

"Unless my prayers have been answered and he's been sucked into a hell filled third dimension, I'd say he left," said EJ flatly.

Sami looked to be struggling to comprehend the concept. "But-but when?"

EJ gave an unconcerned shrug. "I don't know – somewhere between lumberjacks and greasy burger joints I suppose. It's not my job to keep track of all of your ex-husbands."

"Rafe and I are still married," said Sami in distress.

EJ straightened his jacket and tie. "Samantha, he just witnessed us fucking up against a wall in a back alley. I think it's safe to say your marriage is over. He watched me cum inside of you multiple times, that's a pretty hard mental image to get past, particularly with all that moaning you were doing." Her eyes spat fire at him, just like EJ knew would happen. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was how to get a rise out of her. EJ adjusted his pants and grimaced as his still semi-hard cock complained at the movement. Just like Sami knew how to always get a rise out of him, it seemed.

"You're the one who wouldn't stop-stop-"

"Ejaculating?" he offered up sweetly.

Sami's cheeks went bright red. "Yes!"

EJ shook his head. "It's still always someone else's fault, isn't it, sweetheart? Maybe I could have controlled myself a little better if you weren't riding me like I was the last stagecoach out of town."

"This isn't my fault!" insisted a dismayed Sami.

"Of course, it isn't," said EJ derisively. "Let's blame it on the tidal pull of the moon, hmm? Or low biorhythms, or demonic possession. I hear the latter runs in your family."

"Shut up!" Sami growled.

EJ ran his hand through his tussled hair. "Face it, Samantha, I was inside of you just then because that is exactly where _both_ us wanted me to be, end of."

"No," Sami insisted shakily, "that's not true."

"Like I said, Samantha, willing participants, the both of us. Whether we're fucking each other over, or just fucking... neither one of us can walk away from it."

Sami's bottom lip trembled. "If my marriage is over, then so is yours," she said shakily.

EJ blew out a long, tired breath. "Yes, I think that's pretty much a given." He gave a humourless laugh. "You know the really unfunny thing about all of this? I wanted a marriage like you and Rafe had. I thought Nicole and I could have that together." EJ's lips turned down into a dour expression. "It turns out I was right, we did end up with a marriage exactly like you and Rafe, a fantasy one."

"Don't compare your relationship to mine," said Sami sharply. "They're nothing alike!"

"No?" asked EJ tightly. "You and I weren't trying our best to be what they wanted from a spouse, all the time knowing we could never be what they truly needed? You and I lived a lie, Samantha, because we wanted it to be true, needed it to be true. Only it wasn't and never was going to be."

"Don't say that," said Sami unevenly. "Rafe is going to forgive me, I know he will. We can get our life together back."

EJ shook his head, amazed at Sami's talent for self-delusion yet again. "That life was gone as soon as you opened your legs and I mounted you at the mansion," said EJ uncompromisingly. "You knew it, I knew it, but neither one of us wanted to accept it." He waved a hand at the alley. "This, tonight, well, that was just the cherry on top of our just desserts I suppose." EJ's lips tightened. "We're not Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, Samantha, you and I, we can never go home." He shrugged. "But what are you worrying about, Samantha? You've already got another man lined up ready to fill Rafe's shoes. Tell me, have you and Lucas already knocked boots? Did you find comfort in your former soul mate's arms for all of your recent misfortune?" Even as EJ said the words he felt the unwelcome feeling of jealousy clawing at his stomach. He hated his emotions being at Sami's mercy. "Although I'm guessing once Lucas hears about this latest indiscretion, he's going to feel more than a little betrayed... you know, again."

"I'm not having sex with Lucas," said Sami bitterly. "I'm not having sex with anyone!"

EJ just stared at her.

Sami had the grace to blush and looked away.

"In this fantasy world you've constructed in your head," commented EJ idly, "can you fly? Are there unicorns crapping out rainbows for your delicate feet to walk on? Do little cartoons birds carry banners over your head proclaiming your innocence and virtue? Is there a magical mirror in your bedroom who spends his days blowing smoke up your ass and telling you you're all that?"

Sami's face had clouded over at his mocking. "Are you done?"

EJ scratched his cheek. "I was working on a line about seven short men living in a cottage and Lucas, but it wasn't fully formed in my head yet."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, EJ," said Sami sourly, "you're the one who just stood there and admitted to me that you were living in a fantasy with Nicole."

EJ looked at her in disbelief. "And you know what the key word in your sentence was, Samantha?"

"Fantasy," said Sami defiantly.

"Admitted!" said EJ in frustration. "I _admitted_ that my life with Nicole was a fantasy! You have yet to admit to anything yet! Hell, you can't even admit that you don't like plaid, _plaid_ for God's sake!"

"Why would I wear something that I didn't like?" Sami shot back at him.

"Oh I don't know," said EJ sarcastically, "to please someone other than yourself? To help further the myth that this was the life you wanted? Basically anything other than you had a craving to look like a transgender trucker!"

"Alright," snapped Sami, "I don't like plaid! Rafe said he liked it on me one day and I wanted to make happy."

EJ clutched at his heart in a melodramatic fashion. "Oh my God, a breakthrough. Samantha Brady has spoken the truth about something." He made a show looking anxiously at the grimy pavement beneath their feet. "And look, the earth hasn't opened up and swallowed her whole." He looked at Sami with feigned amazement. "I have to say, I'm a little disappointed."

She folded her arms in front of herself. "Are you done?"

"I may need a lie down and a cup of tea after that revelation," said EJ mockingly.

"I have a solution," she announced, glaring at him.

"So do I, a bonfire made up entirely of plaid dresses. I hear polyester burns like an oil-soaked rag, so you may want to do it outside, sweetheart."

Sami didn't smile at his humour. "About us."

EJ arched an eyebrow. "There's an us?"

Sami glared at him. "From a man who just had multiple orgasms inside of me not ten minutes ago, do I really need to answer that question?"

EJ gave a little grunt of amusement. "Point taken. Do continue, Samantha."

"If we keep on like this, you and I are going to be the death of each other."

EJ nodded. "And that's the best case scenario." Sami was just staring at him and EJ was trying very hard to read her expression, but beyond grim determination, he couldn't work out where she was going with this. Despite all his better judgment, EJ was intrigued.

"We need to get each other out of our systems, once and for all," Sami asserted.

EJ tugged on his ear and regarded her carefully, still at a loss to where this was leading to. "You're not going to suggest a duel, are you, Samantha? Do I need to be bracing for a glove slap right about now?"

"Lucas is looking after all the kids tonight, they're having a sleep over with him and his mom."

"Yes," said EJ slowly, his eyes narrowing warily.

Sami stared at him unblinkingly. "I propose we go to a hotel and fuck each other's brains out for the rest of the night and get this-" she made a hand gesture between the two of them, "-whatever this is, out of our systems once and for all."

EJ stared at her in disbelief, stomach tightening in excitement. "Are you serious?"

Her expression didn't change. "Do I look serious?"

"And you'll think this will work?"

Sami gave him a sweet smile. "If it doesn't I can just wait until you fall asleep and smother you with a pillow."

"That would be funnier if you hadn't already shot me in the head while I was asleep," EJ noted.

"It'd also be funnier if you hadn't put a stranger in my bed to have sex with me," she shot back.

"As always, Samantha, you could have just said no to the man." He snapped his fingers. "But I forgot, the only man you say no to is me."

Sami's eyes narrowed. "I'm not saying no now, am I? So, what will it be, EJ? Trail after Nicole and beg her forgiveness yet again? Who knows, the woman has no self-esteem when it comes to you, chances are she'll probably take you back regardless of what just happened."

"I could do that," EJ agreed readily. "And you could go back and cry on Lucas' shoulder about how I coerced you into sex yet again."

"Or we could get this over and done with," said Sami grimly. "So, are we going to screw each other's brains out all night and end this or what?"

EJ took his time in answering, tongue wetting his bottom lip as he contemplated Sami's offer...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Sami buried her face into the pillow and let out a long, loud moan, her hands clutching at the bed sheets as she pushed her backside further up in the air. EJ had finally mounted her after what felt like eons of teasing. In the end he'd had her shaking with anticipation despite this not being his first foray into her body in the hotel room that night. Sami hadn't known where her indecent proposal had come from in that alley. All she knew was that she was desperate for this soul-destroying dance to be over between the two of them and this was all she could think of to end it. Perhaps when they'd had their fill of one another physically, they could just get on with the rest of their lives and leave each other be.

Sami didn't know if she'd been relieved or horrified when EJ had taken her up on her offer. Some part of her had imagined him chasing after Nicole and begging her for another chance. When EJ had chosen to stay with her, rather than go after Nicole, Sami couldn't deny a sense of satisfaction. They hadn't spoken on the ride over to the hotel. EJ had driven and both had stared straight ahead. Sami would have loved to know what EJ was thinking during that time, but didn't quite have the nerve to ask. He'd booked them into a nice hotel, nicer than Sami had expected. The place was upmarket so the man behind the reception desk didn't even comment on their lack of luggage. Instead he simply gave them a room key and wished them a pleasant stay.

Sami had headed towards the elevator which had people lining up to use it. EJ had taken her arm and directed her to the internal staircase. It was only three flights up so Sami didn't protest. They walked in silence, footsteps echoing against the concrete walls. Sami had wondered if EJ was thinking about the last time they'd been in a stairwell together. Her question had been answered when, about half way up, EJ had spun her around and pushed her back on the concrete stairs. He'd kept hold of her arms so that Sami hadn't fallen hard, but before she could protest, EJ was already kneeling in front of her. He'd pushed her skirt up to her thighs to expose her lack of underwear. Sami had stared at him wide eyed, both of them breathing unevenly.

She'd slowly opened her legs, blood pumping through her body as Sami realised they weren't going to make their room in time. She was right, a hungry look was plastered all over EJ's face as he bent down and proceeded to eat her out with mind-numbing efficiency. Sami's screams of pure pleasure had bounced off the walls all around them as EJ and his clever tongue drew untold delights from her body. He'd made her cum on those hard concrete steps and Sami hadn't been able to stop her loud moans of pleasure. It'd been a minor miracle that hotel staff hadn't come to check on the wild animal trapped inside the stairwell. When she'd finished climaxing on his face, EJ had raised his head and told her he could still taste his cum inside of her. His sexy observation made Sami immediately horny, despite her noisy and very recent release.

They'd stumbled through the hotel room doors, EJ barely able to walk thanks to the huge hard on he was sporting. As soon as the doors slammed shut behind them, Sami had been on her knees, helping to release the monster she knew lay within EJ's pants. She'd gone down on him with just as much enthusiasm as he'd treated her to and soon EJ was rewarding her with thick streams of his ropey cum. Sami had made sure EJ watched as she swallowed every last drop. The look in his eyes when she was done told her that their night together was far from over. They'd stripped off each other's clothes and then EJ was leading her into the shower. After soaping up each other's naked bodies it was obvious EJ was ready to go again.

"I want you on your back," he whispered in her ear in that low sexy voice of his. Sami had no inclination to deny him. Still damp from their shower, EJ had carried her to the bed and laid Sami down on it. While Sami lay on her back, EJ had knelt between her legs, moving each one up onto his shoulders. Grabbing her hips, EJ had penetrated her in a series of strokes until he was finally embedded in her up to the hilt. He'd ridden her for a long time in that position, their previous releases allowing him a measure of control that simply hadn't been there before. Sami had lost herself in a delirium of pleasure as EJ strained unceasingly away in her body. Their mutual climax, when it finally arrived, sent shockwaves through Sami's entire body and practically turned her inside out. They'd worked hard for that particular orgasm and when it came, it hadn't disappointed.

Next EJ had ordered room service. The tray of tasty delights had arrived and they ate it without saying a word. Instead EJ would feed himself with one hand as they sat at the little table, and be exploring her body with the other. They hadn't bothered with clothes after the room service staff had left so they'd sat naked at the table, re-fuelling their bodies. Sami's hands had been busy as well and soon enough EJ had been at full attention again. She'd straddled EJ's body as he sat in his chair, sinking down on his swollen length and proceeded to ride them both into oblivion.

They still hadn't spoken beyond sexual demands and requests when EJ took Sami back into the bedroom and bent her over a stack of pillows, her shapely bottom displayed to him in all of its glory. In the beginning the sex had been rough and demanding. Both of them wanting what they wanted from the other when they wanted it, without apology. But after each successive climax, the anger seemed to be melting out of the physical act between them. EJ was taking extra care to notice every single part of her body, worshipping at every nook and cranny. For her part, Sami had become fascinated by the man beside her. She couldn't stop touching him and instead of the desire between them dissipating, it seemed to be taking them to a new level of need. That was why Sami hadn't complained when EJ had placed her in such a vulnerable position. She wanted him to have that power over her, even knowing he would give the same power back to her if she asked it of him.

EJ gave a helpless groan as he worked his turgid cock in and out of her with admirable restraint. "Oh God, Samantha, you're still so tight."

"You're still so hard," said Sami breathlessly, thrilling to the way he was filling her.

EJ moved so he was leaning on his hands that were now either side of her, his hot breath in her ear. "Is this too much, am I hurting you?"

Their overly sensitised bodies had practically rubbed each other raw. Every time EJ touched her swollen clit, she'd almost scream the house down.

"Yes," Sami moaned, "but don't stop." EJ reassured her with a few more hard thrusts which ripped guttural noises from deep inside him.

Sami knew he must be in sweet agony as well. "Is this hurting you?"

"Yes," EJ grunted, "but I can't stop. I need this."

Sami buried her head in the pillow again. "So do I."

EJ stayed in the same position, rocking his straining member back and forth inside of her until Sami's walls had no choice but to give him what they both craved. Her core contracted, walls bearing down on him with fierce intensity thanks to EJ's relentless penetrations. They came together in a heaving convulsion of shaking flesh and squirting body fluids. The overpowering smell of their combined arousal filled the room and made Sami's head swim. She was becoming addicted to the sensation of EJ spurting his seed deep inside of her. The hot substance would hit her walls, soaking her core and filling it so much until the sticky stuff would leak out of her. It was obvious the sight excited EJ very much and that knowledge couldn't help but excite Sami in turn. EJ was finally done spurting his load inside of her and Sami felt him withdraw. She was physically exhausted and she knew EJ must be as well. He flopped down on the bed beside her and Sami turned her head to look at him. He was covered in sweat and looking like he'd just run a marathon. Sami reached out a hand and put it on his sweat soaked, heaving stomach and EJ immediately covered her hand with his own.

"What time is it?" she murmured. The room was still dark and Sami had lost sense of time passing long ago.

EJ glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. "Just after three." He looked back at her. "Tired?"

"Yes," said Sami, "and no." She stared at him. "I still want you, EJ." The ache in her flesh still called for more of this man.

EJ's face flared with desire. "I still want you, Samantha."

Sami sat up and straddled him.

EJ groaned. "Samantha, please, I can't." His hands went to her backside and massaged the full flesh, his actions belying his complaint.

"We have to keep going," said Sami unevenly, feeling the desperation of her plan not working clawing up inside of her. "We have to get this out of our system once and for all."

EJ stared at her through the gloom of the night. "And when will that be?"

Sami leant over and started to press kisses down EJ's sweaty chest and then moved lower. "When I can stop making you hard," she said, lips against his taunt stomach.

EJ moaned as fresh blood forced its way into his overworked cock.

Sami felt his member twitch against her stomach and sat up. She looked down at his stirring cock. "We're not there yet, I see."

"No," EJ growled. He sat up abruptly, grabbing Sami's hips to hold her in place while his mouth took possession of one of her breasts.

"Ow," Sami complained half-heartedly as he sucked on her peak enthusiastically.

EJ had given Sami's nipples a lot of attention and the fact that they were pink and swollen attested to that fact but he didn't listen to her complaints and Sami was grateful. The fine line between pleasure and pain had blurred between them hours ago and they both knew it. Soon Sami's hand was at the back of his head, encouraging him on as her mews of complaint became small, breathy grunts of approval. It felt as though they wouldn't stop until they'd consumed each other completely...

**oooOOOOooo**

Hours later Sami and EJ lay in bed on their sides, facing one another as they shared a pillow. Despite the arduous physical exertions of that night, sleep had yet to claim either one of them.

"Do you really think I'm a cold and manipulating bitch?" asked Sami unevenly.

"Yes," said EJ without hesitation.

Sami's face fell and she struggled to look at him.

"But that's not all you are," said EJ huskily. "You're wild, and passionate and full of life, Samantha. You can be kind and generous just as easily as you can be spiteful and mean... just like me."

Sami blinked away tears at EJ's generous and most importantly truthful description of her. "My idea hasn't worked, has it?"

"No," said EJ softly. They were more under each other's skin more than ever before.

Sami gave a broken little sob. "Why are things like this between us? Why can't we just stop?"

EJ tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and let his fingers trail down Sami's cheek and along her bare back. He kept his hand on the small of Sami's back, seeming to be enjoying the soft sway of her back. "I have a theory," he said quietly. "Do you want to hear it?"

Sami wiped away her single tear. "I guess."

EJ's fingers brushed against the sweep of Sami's lower back. "I think you and I, Samantha, we're like particles."

Sami frowned. "Particles?"

"Yes, you know, particles are what make up all matter. In particular I think we're subatomic particles. There are hundreds of different types of these subatomic particles; photons, neutrons, atoms, quarks-"

"I'm hoping this science lesson has a point," Sami said wryly.

"Particles are the makeup of all life on earth – they provide light, heat, smell, allow us to hear a child's laughter, taste a delicious meal. Without them there would be no life on earth."

"And what does any of that have to do with us?"

"Those very same particles which create all that joy and life can also create death and destruction. When an atom is compressed it can cause a nuclear explosion – something that will wipe out all life for a hundred miles and cause ongoing pain and suffering for decades to come." EJ looked at her seriously. "Do you know what I'm saying?"

Sami bit her bottom lip. "Yes," she said unevenly. "We're Hiroshima."

EJ gave a humourless laugh. "Yes, we are, but that's only because scientists made the particles do things they weren't meant to do – they were forced into going against their original design."

"And chaos and suffering ensued," said Sami quietly.

EJ moved his hand to take her hand in his. He squeezed it gently. "What if we were always meant to be, Samantha? But because we've both been fighting it so hard, that we've caused this kind of implosion all around us that isn't just destroying the now, but the future as well. I don't want our children to grow up in this never-ending nuclear storm, running from one detonation site to another. Maybe we were meant to be something amazing and life-affirming and if we just stopped and were ourselves for five minutes around each other, without all the bullshit, then the balance between us would be restored."

"Are you saying stop doing and just be?"

EJ gave a wry smile. "The doing isn't working out too well for us, now is it, sweetheart? The harder we fight this pull between us, the bigger the fallout. I've fought this for a long time, Samantha, and it scares the hell out of me to say these words to you, but I think we're made to be together and by going against that natural design, we're hurting not only ourselves, but people we love as well."

"But we're a disaster together," Sami reminded him tremulously.

"We've never been together, not properly, not equally. Who knows what will happen when we do?"

EJ's words terrified her, but there was a truth there that resonated deep within her. Sami looked past EJ's shoulder to the window behind him. "It's almost dawn," she whispered.

"A new day," EJ noted huskily.

Sami looked back at him and swallowed hard and spoke her first truth in what felt a very long time. "I want it to be a new day, EJ."

EJ blinked back tears. "So do I."

"But how do we do that?" asked Sami in anguish. "After all that has happened, how do we do that?"

EJ pressed her hand to his chest. "Maybe we start with remembering who we are."

"I don't know who I am anymore," Sami admitted tearfully.

EJ gave a sad smile. "Neither do I, but I'm ready to find out. How about you, Samantha?"

Sami bit her bottom lip, feeling the fear well up inside of her at that question. But then could the way forward be any more terrifying then the way back? Sami took a deep breath, knowing the answer to her own question. "I'm ready, EJ." Sami could see the fear in EJ's eyes as well, but she saw something else. For the first time in a long time, a small amount of hope shone out of EJ's warm, chocolate eyes.

His breath caressed her face as he spoke the words which stirred Sami's heart in a way it hadn't been touched in a long time. "Then it's time, Samantha, this new day, it can be our day – we just have to both want it."

She searched EJ's eyes for any sign of falsehood and found none. They'd spent the night laying bare their bodies to one another and now there was only one thing left unexplored... their hearts. Sami gathered all the courage she'd never known she possessed and looked EJ unflinchingly in the eye. "I want it, EJ, I want it so badly."

EJ's face lit up as though the weight of the world had suddenly been lifted for him. He drew her into a lingering kiss as the first rays of the new morning danced across their faces, illuminating the lover's in its own special glow.

The new day had arrived...

The chief beauty about time is that you cannot waste it in advance.  
>The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,<br>as perfect, as unspoiled, as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your life.  
>You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose.<p>

_Arnold Bennett_

_British Novelist_


End file.
